Nocturnal Ramblings

I made the mistake two nights ago of gong to bed when told to by She who must be obeyed.  It was too early for me and consequently I was  wide awake again by 1.15 am. Some words came into my mind and they rhymed

She slipped beneath her chosen wave
And said farewell to handsome Dave
Dave, meanwhile, was out with Mave
And did not see her smile and wave.

By breakfast time I had grabbed some more sleep and forgotten the words as one does with dreams.
Last night I woke again during the night and the words suddenly came back to me.  This time I scribbled them down thus:

No more selfless pandering
Since Dave had taken up philandering
She left a note and her ring
On the mantle piece in Havering

Dave's excuses were getting lame
"Lost the keys", "Met Georgie Fame"
She could no longer bear the shame
Nor tolerate his tawdry game

The little life inside her tummy
Would never ever call her mummy
Or kiss her, with face all crumby
Or snuggle up, smelling yummy

A wobbly face obscures the light
Strong arms drag her, short and slight
On the beach she looks a sight
But she's far too weak to think of flight

Now she cuddles her son Larry
And her husband, lifeguard Harry
Whilst Dave has gone to live in Barry
With a checkout girl he calls Carrie

Someone said they were in the style of John Betjeman which I take as a compliment to me and an insult to JB.

G I G O 
This post is for CH who, as a medical professional, will be interested but not surprised by its contents
In the early days of business computing this was a popular acronym -
Garbage In - Garbage Out
This is a snappy way of conveying:
The integrity of computer data output is dependant and significantly  reliant on the quality, accuracy and relevance of the data entered.
When we arrived in Aylesbury I registered with a local doctors' practice.  On my first consultation with the GP I encountered a touch-screen check-in interface module. By confirming my date of birth and sex (or *Gender as they insist on calling it) all human interaction with the receptionist, to whom I had been required to divulge my medical concerns before being granted an appointment, was eliminated.  This device, however, rejected me because I had naively entered my correct date of birth unaware at this time that the international date line passes through Aylesbury and that I was in fact one day older than I thought. When I pointed this out my records were adjusted to make me exactly one year younger than my parents had led me to believe.
It was a few weeks before I appreciated that this had been achieved by setting up a second record for me and recording appointments, diagnoses and prescriptions randomly against these two records. I was a little suspicious when the GP refused to believe that I had visited her six months before despite my having the results of a blood test she had requested and two boxes of pills she had prescribed. In my ignorance I presented a prescription at the pharmacy claiming exemption from charges on the grounds of my age.  The pharmacist, however, could read numbers as well as words and refused to dispense the medication as the prescription showed my age as 27 years younger than qualifying age. Like many incredibly handsome men I can be vain sometimes but even I would not have tried that one.
Before the days of computers when information was recorded by hand and figures added up in the head with cross-checks to maintain accuracy I learned that if the difference between two figures which should be the same was divisible by nine, then the error was likely to be one of transposition.  Hence the error on my prescription was clearly evident to me.
I advised the practice manager of my diagnosis and the remedy was put into the hands of a specialist.   The result was that I now had a single medical record with the correct date of birth.  Surgical procedures often  have unexpected, or unexplained, consequences for the patient. So it was for me: the unwanted record was removed but along with it went all my medical information, historical and current.
I am sure there is an appropriate medical term for this condition but as a layman I can only think of decidedly non-medical expressions.
I have been told that all is now well as the missing information has been recovered from archives, waste paper bins etc and re-input into my record.
Why am I not re-assured by this prognosis?

*NOTE FOR FOREIGN READERS

The application of the word Gender to people and animals is questionable in my view. People and animals can be divided into male and female sex.  There are three genders - masculine, feminine and neuter. it can be appreciated that the word sex and gender are not interchangeable. 

GU To Close
I understand that British Waterways is about to announce the closure of the summit level of the Grand Union Canal due to water leakage.  Apparently the canal is losing 60 megalitres of water each week.  The reservoirs capacity is 2000 megalitres but they are only 36% full at present. If  you do the maths that means that the reservoirs would be completely dry in 12 weeks if the leakage is not stemmed.
No point in making plans for this year if we cannot get out of the Aylesbury Arm.

Xmas Communications
A strange thing seems to have occurred with our Xmas messages this year.
A fair number of people we sent season's greetings to and have been  in contact with for many years do not appear to have reciprocated.  This phenomenon has manifested itself both in the virtual world of e-card and also the terrestrial snail mail.
Most puzzling!
Furthermore we have received cards from two people we do not remember.
Perhaps things will become clear during the year.

More H
If you have access to the winter edition of Narrowboat magazine  take a look at page 40 where there is a photo of Horace Foster and his dad, Charlie, working  Princess Ann and Sapphire through  Catshill Stop Lock at  the junction of Daw End Branch and the Curlie Wyrlie in 1966.
We shall be on the BCN this summer for a couple of weeks and will think of H many times I am sure.

Going,  Going,  Gone !

The high winds last night werre so strong that the boat next to us has pulled its mooring ring away from the jetty.

It has also whisked away the loose letter A from the theatre next door.

Unplanned  Obsolescence?

Last January  I highlighted the poor construction quality of the Waterside Theatre in Aylesbury.Doesn't look like they have learned much in the past twelve months

I hope Waitrose and Travleodge which are both due to built on the site are not using the same contractors.

Tiger to Die Before Xmas
For the last couple of years we have been riding the Tiger Line (or tiger-lion as I heard a young lad call it recently)
This bus service between Aylesbury and Chesham has built a strong and regular passenger base of workers and twirlies. (Those with bus passes who enquire of the driver of any bus around 9.30am  Are we twirly?)

The operating company has recently sold the Tiger Line routes and they are to cease on Friday Dec 23.  They have provided a sterling service with a smile and it is a shame to see their demise....











....Even if some of the passengers were a little unusual.

Horace Foster R.I.P
We leaned today that Horace Foster sadly died yesterday.
We were privileged to spend a week cruising the BCN in the company of H, as he was known, in 2009. As one of the last commercial boatmen on the BCN, he was a real gentleman. We joined the BCNS Explorer Cruise in June 2009 along with 24 other boats and H, as he was known, was steering nb Jjinad with his friend  Trisha Higgs.  Each morning H would be set off before some of us were out of bed travelling the canals he had worked on day-boats in the past. Each evening we caught him up and enjoyed a relaxed chat with him and Trish. I always marvelled at his tolerance of us who only play at canal boating but I don't think he ever thought of us in that way. He was so generous with his time we shall miss him. 

The only photograph I have of H is this one from the 2009 Explorer Cruise of him at the tiller of Jjinad - a typical and memorable stance.